So some very clever people in white coats have managed to extract some protein from a the bone of a T-Rex. The news story is all about how there's now proof that dinosaurs are related to chickens, which is interesting (though it wasn't a huge surprise to most paleontologists). The really interesting thing is that this means we can now start work on cloning Tyrannosaurs.
I fully understand that after watching the 3 Jurassic Park movies you may come to the conclusion that cloning dinosaurs is a bad idea, but I have put some thought into this and so that if we follow some simple guidelines then we'll be able to not only have an active dinosaur cloning problem, but we should also be able to avoid any Hollywood inspired disasters.
1. All dinosaurs must be lonely. Fuck you Jeff Goldblum - let's see life 'find a way' if the nearest dino-shag is 200 miles away. Unless they learn to have sex through pollination, we should be ok.
2. No hiring fat fucks with a gambling problem. All software involved in project dinoclone will be thoroughly tested by a team of well paid and un-flakey developers.
3. No velociraptors. Those things are like super-intelligent spacemonkeys with claws. Why would you want to clone those? If raptors are your bag, then I suggest that you coat yourself in blood and go swimming with great whites. It's just as fucking idiotic a move.
There you go. 3 simple rules, and we can have dinopets. Of course the amazing thing is that I got all the way through this without referencing any other carnivorous old reptiles - like Thatcher for instance.
1 comment:
Super Intelligent Space Monkeys with claws? Sounds like an ex-girlfriend I once had... Not sure it's the most accurate description that's ever been touted about, but it sure made me laugh... LOL
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