Friday 24 October 2008

You're not the real Hell's Satans!!

Wow, a whole new case of the FBI getting an idea on how to combat crime from the Simpsons.

The Mongols bike gang are being prosecuted under intellectual property laws. Basically, the FBI are trying to say that the Mongols are illegally copying their logo. Now, it's worth noting that the Mongols are a pretty savage bunch and have a long history of clashing heads (and knives, and baseball bats and skulls) with the Hell's Angels...

I love this idea - it's like trying to arrest a tiger for being all stripey.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

Bedevilled By Charlatans & Lunatics

What a superb quote. This is from an article on the beeb about a wodge of files on UFO encounters that have been made available through the national archives.

A bunch of these files are available covering UFO encounters from the latter half of the 20th century. You can check it out here, if you're interested in reading about blurry lights in the skies, funny looking men with mister spock ears, a woman from sirius and anal probes.

I was kidding about the anal probes by the way. Oh, and the quote is from Dr David Clarke of Sheffield Hallam University. He's a UFO expert, and has never been anally probed. Probably.

Space Race 2.0 : The takeaway takeover

This is the news that India have launched their first unmanned moon probe (the brilliantly titled Chandrayaan 1). So between this, China's first space walk and Azerbijan's wacky space trampoline project - it looks like we've got a bonafide space race kicking off.

Personally, I'm slightly disapointed that we couldn't get Kim Jong Il to start the whole thing with waving a giant flag.

Wednesday 15 October 2008

Catching up with me

So I've gone through a patch again where I've been not really updating the blog. My home PC is on it's last legs, so I've not really been doing much in the way of internetting. The good news is that I'm in the process of ordering a new home PC, so that should be sorted very soon.

In other news, I am proud to announce that I shall in less than two weeks have outlived Bruce Lee.

For those of you that don't know, Bruce Lee was (while he was alive of course) the hardest man on the face of the Earth. Bruce Lee could punch you so hard that your grandfather's nose would bleed. Bruce Lee could kick you so hard, that your children's skull's would deform from the impact. Bruce Lee was the ultimate kung fu motherfucker. There is no way in the world that I could take Bruce Lee in a fight.

Fortunately, Bruce Lee's corpse retains little of this kung fu badassery. Bruce Lee's zombie corpse is a short spindly little bastard, and I can easily roundhouse kick his head off.

Saturday 27 September 2008

It's the fall that'll kill ya.

Arrivederci Paul Newman, you blue eyed badass you.

It's a sad thing when the idols you inherited from your parents start dropping like flies. I mean, John Wayne was dead long before I cared, and John Denver (aside from a rather haunting version of Mr Bojangles) never really made an impact on me; but Paul Newman was the fucking man.

I remember my old man insisting that I watch Butch & Sundance with him. I remember bitching that it was in black and white, and so old I didn't want to watch it, and I remember how great a time I had watching that movie.

Paul Newman was so cool he could even make a film like Slapshot awesome.

Wednesday 17 September 2008

Looking for work - one professor, slightly wacky.

So, after last week when Doctor Michael Reiss suggested that schools should teach creationism, the Royal Society (who he worked for as Director of Education) have issued a statement...

"Professor Reiss and the Royal Society have agreed that, in the best interests of the Society, he will step down immediately as Director of Education a part time post he held on secondment”.

When run through the WhatTheyReallyMeanOtron, this translates to

"Get that crazy fucker out of here! Creationism in schools? He's gone all mental".

Joe 1 v Evian drinkers 0

This is the news that I am in a better state than all those bottled water swigging mooks out there, and all because I drink cups of tea. Yes that's right. Cups of tea. Milk and 2, first thing in the morning. I can think of at least one chalet owner who should be made to read this page after complaining about my tea drinking habits last year!

You have to admit though, flogging bottled water is a pretty good con. After all, two thirds of the damn planet is water. Though it can be taken too far.

Take for example Coca-Cola. Now while I do love to mention how they desperately try to not mention that their orange drink Fanta was invented by the Nazis, I'm almost tempted to say that calling their branded tapwater (no really, it was just tap water) Dasani "bottled spunk" was an even bigger gaff.