It's the fall that'll kill ya.

Arrivederci Paul Newman, you blue eyed badass you.

It's a sad thing when the idols you inherited from your parents start dropping like flies. I mean, John Wayne was dead long before I cared, and John Denver (aside from a rather haunting version of Mr Bojangles) never really made an impact on me; but Paul Newman was the fucking man.

I remember my old man insisting that I watch Butch & Sundance with him. I remember bitching that it was in black and white, and so old I didn't want to watch it, and I remember how great a time I had watching that movie.

Paul Newman was so cool he could even make a film like Slapshot awesome.

Looking for work - one professor, slightly wacky.

So, after last week when Doctor Michael Reiss suggested that schools should teach creationism, the Royal Society (who he worked for as Director of Education) have issued a statement...

"Professor Reiss and the Royal Society have agreed that, in the best interests of the Society, he will step down immediately as Director of Education a part time post he held on secondment”.

When run through the WhatTheyReallyMeanOtron, this translates to

"Get that crazy fucker out of here! Creationism in schools? He's gone all mental".

Joe 1 v Evian drinkers 0

This is the news that I am in a better state than all those bottled water swigging mooks out there, and all because I drink cups of tea. Yes that's right. Cups of tea. Milk and 2, first thing in the morning. I can think of at least one chalet owner who should be made to read this page after complaining about my tea drinking habits last year!

You have to admit though, flogging bottled water is a pretty good con. After all, two thirds of the damn planet is water. Though it can be taken too far.

Take for example Coca-Cola. Now while I do love to mention how they desperately try to not mention that their orange drink Fanta was invented by the Nazis, I'm almost tempted to say that calling their branded tapwater (no really, it was just tap water) Dasani "bottled spunk" was an even bigger gaff.

What kind of drunk are you?

Department of health research has split drinkers into nine groups according to their behaviours...

...though I think I've found a tenth group that they've forgotten - the I LIKE A PINT. IT'S A LOVELY FUCKING DRINK. STOP BEING SUCH A BUNCH OF WHINY COCKS.

Sheesh. I get that there are alcoholics out there, but they're alcoholics, not 'drinkers'. I had a pint last night when I got home from work, I didn't fall asleep in my clothes hammered out of my skull, I didn't end up puking up in an alleyway and I didn't wake up this morning with a hangover. I'm a type ten 'drinker' - someone who is completely able to have a pint without being a dribbling fucking moron about it. Quite plainly, it's a type of person the department of health have never come across.

Twats.

Holy common sense!

If you've done any reading of my random twitterings, then you'll know I don't like to pass up the opportunity to call the Catholic church a bunch of homophobic mysogenists with a member of the hitler youth at the head of the table, but today I'm going to do something a bit different. I'm going to say, that the Vatican have pleasantly surprised me today.

This all comes from Professor Michael Reiss of the Royal Society who suggested that maybe we should talk about creationism in schools; apparently in a 'this is what some people who are 100% wrong believe' - I'm not that certain he's right on this one, but the Royal Society have clarified his remarks and he now seems a lot less crazy.

Anyway...where this becomes interesting is that the article references the Vatican's stance on creationism. Admittedly, I'd not really looked into it, and it appears that on this at least, our friends in Rome are remarkably level headed. Now if only they'd sort out their attitude to condoms.

I didn't want to jinx this...

But it does appear that the world hasn't been sucked into a black hole. Which is a good thing.

I would also like to tell everyone that I am now able to watch e4 again as Big Brother has finished. I swear, the day Big Brother dies, I will find Davina McCall and dance around her singing "time for you to find a proper job" while waving a flag with "victory for television that isn't morally bankrupt"on it.

You cannot underestimate how much I hate that damn show.