European AIDS is scarier than British AIDS.

I ain't kidding folks!

British aids isn't scary at all.

French aids scares the shit out of me.

Those of you with a nervous disposition may want to think twice before clicking on that link.

Something for the voyeur in you.

This is a pretty easy one...do a google search for inurl:''ViewerFrame?Mode= Why you ask? Well because it gives you a list of webcams that are available on the internet.

So you can watch a bunch of guys playing tennis, the DJ booth for Love Fm, or even a bakery.

Have a look - there are more to be found, and you never know what you might find.

Know your Bond Villains #32 - Andrei Lugovoi

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Bond Villain number 32 from our series 'Know your Bond Villains and Recognise Their Villainy'.

This is Andrei Lugovic. Whilst he is a Bond Villain, he also maintains a cunning and disarming charade as an elected politician in the free and democratic country of post cold war Russia.

As you can see from his photo, Andrei's an enigmatic and charming individual, and uses his sexy Russian accent to disarm potential female assassins. When visiting England, Andrei is often found in cool sushi bars and the more affluent areas of London like Knightsbridge.

Whilst Andrei obviously has a small army of faceless thugs to carry out his every villainous whim, he does occasionally like to get involved with the murdering, especially if the murdering involves murdering someone who's talking too much. In these cases, his favourite method is to use a nuclear isotope as a poison, thereby guaranteeing his murderee a slow and painful death.

Andrei's favourite television show is Scrubs, and if he likes to listen to N-sync while he's driving his car over the bodies of the oppressed.

Oh wait - no, this isn't a Bond Villain - this is a real person! Sorry - I got confused. God knows how that happened!

Build a sandcastle dad!

I want to draw attention to the website harrisand.org.

There's no getting away from the fact that some people have way way way too much time on their hands. But the problem is that as much as I want to take the piss out of these have nothing decent to do with their time fucks, what they're building is pretty impressive.

What makes it even more impressive though is the fact that they bring their own sand to the party. There must be beaches nearby that are just rock these days!

What did you learn at university?

I'm betting that if you did animation, you probably learnt more than this fella.

Hugo Chavez - a man beyond his time

Or something like that...

This is the news that Venezuela have decided that they want a timezone all to themselves. Why do they want their own timezone? Well from reading some of the blurb, it seems to be for the sake of the children. Sounds like crap to me.

But that's ok - Chavez has gone on record as saying "I don't care if they call me crazy."

Which is probably a good thing - as for this one - he's going to get called crazy a lot.

Some people will research anything...

Take for example the studys done in regard to women and their bras. Tests done have found that a larger woman would have a boobment of 6.9 centimetres.

Australians (why is it always Aussies with stuff like this?) have come up with an intelligent bra with sensors built in to battle bounce.

The full report is from the Journal of Biomechanics. Though why you'd want to read it is completely beyond me. I mean - do you need to know about the morphological changes in the internal structure of the articular eminence of the temporal bone during growth from deciduous to early mixed detention?

No, I didn't think so.

Welsh women are still stupid

Those of you with long memories will recall that I have previously pointed out that Welsh women weren't exactly at the front of the queue when it cam to handing out brains, and I would like to present to the court exhibit B -

A Welsh woman who was persuaded to swallow 34 bags of cocaine.

How did they manage this do you think? Was she told that it'd improve her complexion? Did they perhaps suggest that bags of cocaine have magical weight loss properties? I have no idea. But I do like the judge.

Why? Because he told David Case that he wasn't smart to come up with this plan on his own. That's right Mr. Case, it's now a matter of court record that you're too dumb to come up with a plan that's as stupid as this one. But look on the bright side - all the inmates at Cardiff prison are lining up to play you at Trival Pursuit for cigarettes.

X Prize 4 - Great Nephew of X Prize

For those of you who don't know, the original I'm talking about X Prize was a ten million dollar prize for the first privately funded craft to travel into space twice within a fortnight. It was won by SpaceShipOne, a 60s sci fi looking craft designed by Burt Rutan.

The whole point of the X Prize is that it's a catalyst to forward human endevour (something I'm in favour of) as a clear illustration of that, the original X Prize was ten million dollars. SpaceShipOne though, cost one hundred million dollars - so an accountant would tell you that it wasn't worth it. Which is because accountants are stupid and have broken minds.

Anyway, the fourth X Prize is being sponsored by Google, and offers up to 30 million dollars to the first private venture to put a robotic vehicle on the moon, drive it around and do some bunny hops. So yesterday, the Google Lunar X Prize had it's first official entrant. OdysseyMoon are a private company created specifically for the purpose of entering the X Prize, and are from the Isle of Man. That's right. The island that gave you cats with no tails and that funny flag with all the legs on it will soon be putting a robot car on the moon.

I can't wait for the next entrants!

So with the storms...

Come the waves...

For those of you who didn't see the photos on the BBC's website about the massive waves that've been turning up on the British coast, here's some proof from Wales. This photo's from Porthcawl - which is about 25 minutes down the road from me.

Where was I when this was taken? In bloody work.

Here's another shot from further down the coast showing just how big and awesome some of the Welsh waves have been since the big swells came in...

I stole the photos from Porthcawlsurf.co.uk and MagicSeaweed.com

I love the NIE!!!!!!

Yes I do.

The NIE is the United States National Intelligence Estimate. This is all about the declassified central findings of a report released this week that says that Iran halted it's nuclear weapons program back in 2003.

Why is this report important? Because up until that report came out, the Whitehouse had been working hard to shape the public's perception that Iran is a dangerously close to having a nuclear bomb and that the best way to protect America is to bomb Iran back into the stone age.

Hmm...well that sounds familiar!

Now before you go out and decry this report as an aberration, let's remember that the IAEA report came back with pretty much the same conclusions, and it's hard to ignore the fact that maybe we don't need a world war three just yet.

You know how bored I am of GWB's warmongery? I'm not even going to make a joke about it. But I am going to tell you that if you watch some of Bill Hick's stuff about Iraq, you could almost forget that he's talking about George Bush Senior and Gulf War version 1.0.

coppery mockery shockery

I should write headlines for a redtop.

Anyway - this is the story about a police force, speed cameras and how difficult it is to catch people who are speeding.

Poor South Yorkshire Police. No sooner is their chief constable Meredydd Hughes banned for speeding than the beeb has the cheek to submit a freedom of information request to find out if any other police cars have been snapped speeding.

Would you like to know howmany photos they found out about?

26. There were twenty six cases where South Yorkshire police officers were caught speeding on duty, failed to admit that they were driving and cases were dropped. A spokesman said that they couldn't identify the drivers.

Hang on a second...I've seen enough of the Bill to know that cars are signed out. Does this mean that the entire reason that these drivers couldn't be identified is because they couldn't recognise the signatures?

Wow. It's a good job Myra Hyndley didn't sign her confession with a leaky fountain pen or they'd never have caught her!