Why more people don't love dinosaurs

You know, I think I've cracked it. It was this story from the beeb that set me off - they've found another new dinosaur in South America. This one's called Futalognkosaurus dukei. Try saying that three times quickly (actually - just try saying it once and I'll be impressed)!

And this is where I think the paele...paleon...dinosaur guys have got it wrong - the names that they come up with for these new dinosaurs aren't that exciting, and in an age where even Godzilla isn't a sure fire hit, you need to be a bit more aggressive in your marketing (Mothra found that one out!).

So, I shall now offer my wisdom to dinosaur guys the world over in naming any dinosaurs that are discovered. The names will be snappy, peppy and all in all, more keeping with what a 21st century dinosaur needs. Hell, I'll even provide some examples!

OLD NAME : Brachiosaurus
NEW NAME : Hugeosaurus

Really, what more of a name do you need? It's huge, it's a saurus... it's Hugeosaurus! I know what you're thinking - there's more than one massive sauropod out there - but there's more than one adjective for big! We can also have bigosaurus, largeosaurus...even woahthatsfuckingmassiveosaurus!

OLD NAME : Anklyosaurus
NEW NAME : Rockosaurus
It's a dinosaur that looks like it's made from rocks - it's a Rockosaurus. This will also go a long way to pepping up old Ankly's image in relation to his more popular cousin - Stegosaurus. Just cause he doesn't have spikes, doesn't mean he's not a badass.

OLD NAME : Oviraptor
NEW NAME : Beakosaurus
What the fuck is this thing? It looks like a cross between a chicken and a velociraptor that hasn't eaten a wandering scientist for weeks! Fuck it, I can only do some much - we'll call it the beakosaurus. What? Not all dinosaurs can have badass names. It should count itself lucky I'm not calling it the freakyfuckingchickenosaurus!