New childcare product!

Yes that's right - here at this blog, we are promoting a new childcare product. It's called the encapsulator, and it is in essence a giant sensory deprivation tank with a PS2 in it. The timelock attached to it is programmed to not open for 15 years, and so prevents any paedophile predator getting his hands on your special little prince or princess.

So for those of you who haven't read, the parents of the UK are a bunch of whiny fucks. 43% of parents surveyed by the Children's Society think that their spawn shouldn't be allowed out without adult supervision until they're 14.

You morons.

I remember walking home from junior school. I remember that some of the kids in my class had to get a bus to school. For those of you frantically doing the maths - you start junior school when you're 8. I remember that those who got picked up by their parents every day were looked down upon - we were kids! It was great, we didn't need adults for anything.

How times have changed. Now it seems that it's the kids who are trusted to walk home without adult supervision are very much in the minority.

I think it's sad that we're no longer able to allow kids to go out and play with their friends, and the thing is, I think it's our own fault. We've become so obsessed with the evil paedophiles that we're unable to rationally assess the risks.

Here's a story I remember from my childhood - I was out with a couple of friends, and we were walking along a water mains pipe. I fell off it into a large clump of neetles and got stung and scratched to shit (the pipe was about 5 feet high). I knew I was going to get in trouble for being an idiot, so I tried to sneak into the house without my folks noticing. Well they saw me, they laughed at me for being an idiot, gave me a clip around the ear and coated the cuts and scratches with germoline. There was no amber alert, no tabloid panic and no audience with the pope.

Yes, I do say this without being a parent - but I sincerely hope that when I am, I can help my kids grow up, rather than wrap them in so much cotton wool that they have no idea of the world that's out there. Childhood's supposed to be fun isn't it?