Now I know why 50 cent is called 50 cent - because he's bargain fucking basement when it comes to being a PIMP. He doesn't even live in the pound shop of pimps, because he's not good enough. To your right, I present you with a photograph of the King Pimp.......That's right folks, it's chairman Mao!
Chairman Mao, more famous for starting a people's revolution, being a her indoors character in that film with Peter O'Toole and the chinese kid who keeps sucking on tits and settling that long standing arguement; which wins between a convoy tanks or a bunch of starving students desperate for political reform (it was tanks by the way). Well in addition to these feats - he was also a pimp.
Back in 1973, at a trade conference with the US, Chairman Mao tried to talk the US into taking 10 million women off his hands. Apparently, the exact phrase he said was 'These wimmen is driving me crazy yo, take them offa my hands so I can go chill and drink gin with my homies'.
From secret recordings made at the Whitehouse at around that time, it seems that Nixon was deadset against the idea, reasoning that the women could all be crooks. Strange how life worked out there innit.
Of course, seeing as I am both single and a humanitarian, I have written to the Chinese embassy and said that while I can't take 10 million, I can at least take 5 or so off their hands. So long as they're small and easily stackable.
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